One Night Alone
by Mary Jane
Summary: As AndrAIa approaches death, Matrix approaches utter despair, and realizations are made about life, love, and innocence.
1. The beginning of night

ONE NIGHT ALONE

ONE NIGHT ALONE

CHAPTER ONE

It had been so long since he had spent a night by himself.He couldn't even remember a time when he turned over in bed and there was no one at least near to him.For so long it had been Dot, who had sat next to him and read him bed time stories and kissed him goodnight and promised that if he was ever wakeful, she would be in the room right next door.Then she would walk out, turn out the light, and he would close his eyes with peace in his heart.Then, it had been AndrAIa.She had started out as a friend, listening to his silent sobbing when the lights had gone out every night.Then came the hugs and finally the intimate feelings, which turned her into his guardian.

But now there was no one.

Matrix was seated on a rather uncomfortable stool on the deck of the Mare, just watching the world go by.At the same time, his arms were crossed across his chest as he attempted to shield himself from the cold, bleak darkenss of the night.There was not a single soul around, for everyone had dissappeared into their bedchambers, congratulating each other on a job well done, for that day had been an eventful one.Then they had passed by Matrix, looking at him with nothing but sympathy in all of their eyes, but only a few spoke to him.They told him to at least attempt to sleep, that it would be better if he just stopped worrying, and that things would be better in the morning.He remembered that one had said that everything happens for a reason.He never understood why any of them had said what they did; things could not get any worse, and they didn't look like they were getting any better.And he resented the idea that the past few hours had happened for a reason.There was no reason for her to die; she was innocent of anything, and she didn't deserve to have her life end at such a young age.He, he felt as though he had aged millions of cycles in the past few nanoseconds, and he felt like his life was over.

He knew what they wanted to day.They wanted to tell him that it would be best if he said his goodbyes tonight, to give her one last moment before she departed from him forever, to make his peace with the inevitable.AndrAIa was slowly dying just below his feet, from wounds deemed by all incurable.Part of her code was missing, they said, and there was nothing that anyone of them could do but wait.Then they had looked at him, and they grew silent.Everyone then just sort of drifted away from her flickering, lifeless body, and left the man who loved her alone.Ever since then, no one had spoken a word of it to him.

He sighed heavily and closed his eyes for a period of time.There was nothing but darkness around him, and it made him remember those occasional times throughout his life that he had been alone.He recalled the day his mother, whom he barely had known, had passed on to "the next system", as some called it.No one, not even Dot, spoke to him about it, and instead they just walked away.It had been so similar to this night that Matrix felt like he had fallen through a hole in time.Dot had said goodnight, and she shut the door, and he had lain there, in the darkness, staring at nothing.Tears had falled from his eyes, and he had experienced the kind of loneliness that makes a little boy cold and harsh, and he grew up.Or, there was the time when he had made a cruel remark to Dot about the way she lived her life, and he had said something about how he hated her so much, and how their parents probably hated what they had created as well.And she had stared at him for a moment, her eyes turning puffy and red, her lips trembling.As the tears began to fall from her eyes, she said a quiet goodnight and shut the door, and he had been alone once more.Alone, forced into the same dark room as his boundless shame.He had wanted to tear out of the darkness and clasp his sister around the neck and tell her he was sorry, so sorry.He wanted to say to her that she was beautiful and kind, but he couldn't.Instead, he had lain on the bed, in the darkness, and he had grown up.

This night was kind of a combination of those nights.Someone incredibly dear to him was dying, and his shame prevented him from going to her and telling her that he was sorry.His jealousy, his distrust, his frustration with the entire world had just sprung forward like the venom in a snake.He spat and clawed and isolated himself from the one person who was still with him.And now he was paying the price.

He sighed once more and moved his hand away from his face.His bottom lip trembled slightly, but he bit down hard to stop it.He stood up abruptly, making himself dizzy, and walked over closer to the railing.He leaned against it, and as he dropped his head into his hands he noticed two drops of red liquid on his fingers.One hand rose to his face again, touching his lips.His life liquid – he had bitten his lip so hard that he had drawn it.It almost seemed like an omen, or a message; that there was a kind of symbolic blood on his hands.His own, but in addition the blood of the dying AndrAIa, the blood of his burdened sister, of his idol, Bob, of all the people and all the beings he had ever come across who had suffered and died at his hands.

He couldn't let himself think about the past right now.He had an incredible desire to slap himself for being so weak.The past made no difference, and what was more, he should not have been so preoccupied with the well being of others.He was a rogue; cast out from society, forced to make his own way in the world, with no one to care for him and shelter him.It was said that a weakness for others was the downfall of any fighter, for the life of another could be used against the fighter.

'A fighter must be strong, a fighter must be strong, a fighter must be strong…'

He kept repeating those words in his head, he even began to say them out loud, for the tears that had been there before were returning.He could only imagine what AndrAIa would say to him if she knew that he was thinking these thoughts about "true" warriors.She would frown, and call him callous and insensitive, and she would refer to Bob: he was the strongest warrior any of them had ever come in contact with, and at the same time was the kindest being that they had ever known.Matrix gruffly pulled himself away from the railing and began to walk back and forth, all over the deck of the Mare, clutching his head, fighting the tears that refused to go away.He was so frustrated, and so angry with himself, and at the same time he was more exhausted than he had ever been in his life.He knew that he couldn't keep doing this; his body **would** give out on him, despite all the lies he told himself about how strong he was, and how he could fight anything at any time, and always win.But all the pacing, all the thoughts, all the pain of the past and all of the memories that were still flooding back to his mind were driving him insane, and his instincts told him to fight, all the way up until the time when his eyes had finally closed, and he had finally met the deck with a sickening crash.

His body was sprawled across the deck, and he breathed heavily, and he writhed as he began to dream…


	2. A simple story

CHAPTER TWO: A SIMPLE STORY

ONE NIGHT ALONEa reboot fanfic by Mary Jane 

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CHAPTER TWO:A SIMPLE STORY

"Dot?"

"Yes?"

"Will you tell me a story?"

"Enzo, it's late..."

"Just a really quick one?Please?I'm not tired at all, I swear!"

Dot smiled as she looked down at Enzo, whom she had just tucked into bed after a long day of activities.She was exhausted, and she knew he was too, but that look in his eyes always caught her.He was just so innocent in his quests to become a hero, and he was so passionate about learning of the mythical greats that had come before him that his eyes showed his entire heart to the world.

"Alright, I give in, but just a short one.And no prying for extra information, either!You'll hear this story the way it was meant to be told - straight through!"

"Agreed.Now, which one?Which one are you going to tell?"

"Well, what would you like to hear?"

"Um, I dunno, something..."

"Yes?"

"Long?"

"Nice try, buddy."

"Oh, okay.Oh, what about that one that Old Man - um, I mean, Mr. Green was telling at the gathering last night?I never got to hear the end of it."

"Um, yeah, okay, I think I know how that one goes.Let me get under those covers first, it's cold in here!"

Enzo giggled as Dot scrambled into bed next to him.She made some silly joke about how if felt like a shutdown had occurred, it was so cold. Then, as she got situated Enzo leaned up against her, and she put an arm around his tiny shoulders.Finally, she was ready to begin.

* **********

Once upon a time, when the system was so young, and all sprites were young and carefree, a tiny little boy sprite discovered that he wanted more than he had.He had seen the world beyond the gates of his home, and he wanted so badly to explore.Well, he had been living by himself, for he had no mother, no father, no one to care for him and worry about him.Except for this tiny little cat, who was his only family, and his only friend.This cat was actually not his cat, and he had never gone out searching for a companion or a pet, but rather this cat simply appeared to him one day.He had been out in his yard, and the cat just strolled over to him, looked at him with its big, bright eyes, and became his friend.Just like that.

The little boy honestly didn't know what to do.He had thought that he was an independent sprite who didn't need any one, and had no one to tie him down, but then he had remembered this cat.He loved his little cat, for it had been so good to him; it had snuggled with him on cold nights, it had rubbed up against him whenever he was depressed, it had smiled at him and loved him, no matter how angry the boy was.So, the boy didn't want to go, but at the same time he didn't want to stay.He was happy with his home and his friend the cat, but he dreamed of the adventures and the lands that lay in the expanse of land outside his gate.He dreamed of it so often that he knew that he could never forget what he wanted, and even if he was to try to stay home and remain content with what he had, nothing would be quite right.There would always be this small sense of regret in his heart.

So, finally, the cat walked up to him one day, and it said to him, 'Little boy, I love you, and I will be so sad without you.But, I know that you love me, and you don't want to hurt my feelings by telling me that you want to go out into the world.Well, what I am here to do is to tell you this:it makes me sad to see you sad, so I want you to go.I want you to go out into the world and find the things that you seek.And, I will wait for you.I am your friend, and I will stay here, and every night I will wait for you to come home.When you are ready, you can come back, and we can be loving friends for the rest of our lives.'

When the cat finished this, the little boy was overjoyed.He was filled with more loved for the cat than ever, and he hugged and petted the cat and told it that he would be back, he would return.And when he didn't, he would take care of the cat and would tell it stories every night of the adventures that he had.The cat smiled, and with one last embrace, the boy set out into the world.

************

It was nearly morning, and some of the binomes that were "morning" sprites were awake.They awoke with a delightful stretch, feeling the exhaustion of yesterday just fleeing their muscles, and they were rejuvenated.At first they felt wonderful and alive and ready to go to work, but then they remembered Matrix's lady friend.

Every one of them sat up in their beds and thought.They wondered if she was still alive, but their rational minds told them that it was almost impossible for any sprite, weak or strong, to survive longer than a day in that kind of condition.AndrAIa was a very strong woman, they knew, but without her code and with her energy loosely leaving her body, she wouldn't be able to last any longer than any one else.Then, as the sprites all sat there staring into the emptiness in front of them, they remembered the man sprite.The huge warrior frightened them all, but none of them could forget who he really was on the inside.They knew that he was the little boy Enzo whom they had met when they first came to the Mainframe system, and they knew that, as tough as he was, he was one who was passionate about the things he cared for.And from what they had seen, the woman AndrAIa was something very dear to him.

Eventually they stood up, and like drones put on all of their clothes, and headed up to the deck.They were still so lost in their thoughts that they did not notice Matrix lying on his back, on the deck of the Mare, still dreaming.He could never forget the ending to it...

************

"How much of this story did you hear, Enzo?"

"This is actually as far as I've heard.Keep going, I really want to know how it ends."

"Um, Enzo, I don't know if I should tonight, the story gets a little - well, I just remembered exactly how it ends, and well, I don't want to..."

"Please Dot, I really want to know!I promise I'll be good, just tell me the ending!"

"I'm going to regret this...okay, but you might want to find some tissues before everything is over..."

************

So, the little boy went out into the world, and while he did enjoy the world and had lots of fun, he always remembered the cat, back at home.He missed his friend so much, and there wasn't a cycle that passed where he didn't think of how the little cat must have been waiting for him, watching the road, on the porch of their home.The boy thought that the cat must have been lonely, but it still waited for him, because it loved him.

Well, time passed, and the boy grew older.He grew to the point where he was no longer a boy, but a young man, strong and robust.He still always thought about the cat, and one cycle the time came where he decided he had seen enough of the world, and he just wanted to go home and spend the rest of his time with his friend.So, he went on a long journey back to his home, which took him a great deal of time, for he had gotten quite far away from his land.But, at last, one day he finally reached familiar lands, and he kept going until he saw his gate, leading to his home.

A wide smile passed over his face, and tears came to his eyes.He felt so happy to be home!So happy that, once he saw his gate, he burst into a run.He saw the path leading to his house, then he saw the garden, and then he saw his porch.And sure enough, seated on the porch, staring right at him, was the cat.

The sprite called out, "My friend!I'm home!"

Oddly enough, the cat did not stir.The boy assumed that his friend did not recognize him; he had changed quite a bit, after all.So, he just kept running.

But as he approached the porch, he began to notice that the cat still was not moving.He slowed to a walk and looked intently at the cat, and he stopped when he saw that the cat's eyes were glazed over.When he touched the paw of his little friend, it was stiff.Tears rose into his eyes and he collapsed to his knees when he learned the truth:the cat, his dear little companion, was dead.

The sprite, who was a man in body but still such a child in spirit, was devastated.He hated himself and screamed out loud, "Why did you leave!Why didn't you stay with your friend!Why were you so obsessed with getting away that you didn't realize how much you were hurting the ones around you!You horrible, horrible, horrible virus!"

The sprite yelled and yelled until he could yell no more.Eventually, he collapsed to the ground, and fell into a deep sleep, which most sprites would not wake from.And this sprite was no different, except in one minor way: he couldn't die.There was too much in his life that he had to discover.

When he slept, in his dreams he was all alone.He was sitting in a field much like the one in his real yard, except for the fact that all of the plants in the yard were either dead or dying.He wanted to leave, except that he could not.He felt like he had to stay and wait for someone, and he had to bear the death and destruction that surrounded him.It was his duty to wait for this thing that he knew was coming, so he did.

Time passed by, and finally, one day, a vision appeared to him.He gasped when he first saw the shadow of something begin to form, and he was frightened, but he had a feeling in his heart that told him this was nothing to fear.And it wasn't, for it was the spirit of his little friend the cat, who had come to visit him.

The sprite cried and cried, and he said almost all in one breath how sorry he was, and how much he loved his little friend, and how awful of a virus he was.But, as the cat listened, it just smiled, as it always did.It listened to the boy's wailing, and it drifted down slowly to comfort the boy.The cat looked the boy right in the eyes and it said, "Dear friend, it makes me so sad to see you sad.Why do you cry?"

And the boy said, "Because you have left me, and you have done so before I had the chance to tell you how much I love you, and before I had a chance to tell you all my stories!"

And the cat said, "No, dear friend, that is not true.For you told me your stories every night before you went to sleep, just as you promised, and you told me you loved me every nano of every cycle that you were away."

After a long pause of thought, the boy said through his sobs, which were getting quieter, "But why did you die?Were you sick?You were not old, it was not your time!"

The cat replied, "I did not die.I only did what you did:I left the space that was familiar, and I am going to go explore the world, just as you did.Please wait for me, I will return to you, and we will be together again, someday."

The boy then found that he could not speak, for the lump had once again formed in his throat, and he feared that if he were to speak, he would break down.But, in his mind, he told the cat that he loved it, and that he would wait for it forever.

And the cat heard him as it finally left.

*************

Dot looked tenderly down at Enzo, who was holding her very tightly around her waist.She couldn't see his face, but from the wet sensation on her stomach she knew that he was crying.She too, after thinking about the story, had to stifle some tears.She scolded herself for telling him this story; not only would it keep him awake all night, but it really wasn't a story that was meant for children, despite the childish wording of it.

She stroked his hair slightly and leaned down enough to give him a tiny breath of a kiss on his head.He sniffled and held her tighter.

The two of them sat there for a while, not saying anything.After a little while, Enzo finally spoke up, but he was talking more to himself than to Dot.In a tiny little voice, he said, "Why did it end that way?"

Dot knew that she really wasn't supposed to have heard that, but she felt like she had to reply."I know it's sad, Enzo, but it is just a story…"  
  


"It's not just a story, Dot!"Enzo said louder, looking up at her with his bloodshot, tear stained eyes and flushed face."It's not just a story!"

"Yes it is, Enzo."

"You don't understand, Dot!You're not thinking about it enough!"

"Now wait a minute, Enzo, I did think about this a lot when I heard it.I know that there is a lesson behind it, and I know that the lesson behind the tale is what makes this story powerful, but don't over think the cat and sprite thing. They aren't real people."

"But they could be!Don't you see, they could be!They could be real sprites, who loved each other, and should have stayed together, but one of them had this stupid dream of becoming some kind of hero, so he left his friend all alone!And the friend died all alone!Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

Dot was amazed at the analysis that Enzo was putting into this simply little story.She was expecting him to cry over the cat who had died, but he was crying because he was somehow relating to the words.For some reason totally unknown to her, he understood the message more than she did.She felt foolish, but she was understandably very proud, and very sympathetic, of Enzo.He realized things like this, with his innocent little perception of the world in which they lived, and he was viewing the action of the character with a child-like opinion, un-jaded and untainted.And she loved him all the more for it.

"Yes, it does mean something.I'm sorry, little brother, I should have thought this through like you.I'm very proud of you, for thinking of these things."

But Enzo didn't respond to the compliment, nor did he respond to Dot's apology.He simply rested his head on her stomach once more, and she once again felt tears falling onto her body.She held him around the shoulders and let him cry.

Enzo said, "I'll never be that kind of friend.I'll never leave someone I love alone."

"I'm sure you won't."

*************

Hi everyone!Thanks for reading Chapter two!Number three should be out soon, and please review!

--MJ


	3. Night's End

ONE NIGHT ALONE

ONE NIGHT ALONEa reboot fanfic by Mary Jane 

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CHAPTER THREE:As Night Ends

Matrix awoke with a start, frightening the binomes that had gathered around him.He immediately noticed that, as far as day and night went in the web, it was the heart of the morning.His eyes darted around and around in panic.He felt weak almost to the point where he could not move his limbs, and his entire body was numb.

Soon after he woke up the Captain, who immediately looked down with a look of intense concern, approached him.The crewmembers backed away in order to give the Captain room, and Matrix attempted to sit up.Bad idea.He was immediately struck by a wave of dizziness that brought him heavily back to the ground.He tried to raise his hands to touch his face, but nothing in his body seemed to work correctly.He felt like he was stuck in a dream world, for not only was his body unresponsive, but he was barely aware of everything around him, and he had to force himself to keep his eyes halfway open.

The dream had paralyzed him.He had forgotten about that story, the story about the loyal cat and the selfish sprite that didn't realize the value of friendship until it was too late.He hadn't even remembered Dot telling him that story, or the night that they spent after she had finished.He remembered now how they had briefly argued over what the story was about, and after which they remained on his bed, just hugging each other, and silently crying.Actually, Dot hadn't really cried, but he had.It was strange, Matrix hated people who cried, and he wouldn't ever dream of doing it himself, because he thought it was the ultimate weakness in a person, to show that kind of emotion.But as a boy, he had cried a lot, over so many things, even a simple little story about a sprite that abandoned love, the cat that had waited for him, and the inevitable death of their togetherness.

'Stupid story,' was all he could think of at the moment, 'doesn't mean anything.Why the hell did I cry over a stupid cat?'

With another loud groan he managed to sit himself up.He was still incredibly dizzy, but he got to the point where he could fight it...nearly.The binomes all gathered around him to support his body, and he half-heartedly shook them off at first, but then just let them help him.He was too drained, both physically and emotionally, to fight with anyone.

"Why lad, quite a night you must have had!How the Dos did you get out here?"The captain said, with a little laugh in his voice to break the tension.

"I came out here."Matrix said gruffly.The captain chuckled a little, said something, and just shook it off.So much for breaking the tension.

"Why sir?"One of the binomes spoke up.Matrix shot a glare, which frightened the little binome to the point where he was so afraid, he started to bow down in front of Matrix in an "I'm not worthy" position and saying, "I apologize for my presumption!" over and over again.Matrix just rolled his eyes, but for the others it was quite the comical sight.

About three seconds went by, and Matrix suddenly remembered the reason he had come out here, the reason he had collapsed:AndrAIa.His eyes darted around, once again panic-stricken.He jumped up, forgetting about the previous dizziness that had plagued him, forgetting about the dream.He furiously began to look around, and he walked wherever he looked, so he basically started pacing the entire deck of the Mare.

"Where is AndrAIa?"He demanded, actually more worried than stern."Is anyone watching her?Has she gotten better?"

The former smiles disappeared from everyone's faces in an instant.They all looked around at each other and at the floor.The common sprite would have interpreted this as a sign of the worst; that AndrAIa had died over the night, and there was no trace of her left anywhere.But Matrix, being in the mental position that he was in, and being so in denial of the reality of her physically position, simply denied the worst possible scenario, and just thought that they didn't know.

With a grunt, he jumped over all of them, leaving them behind, with the Captain beginning to call out to stop him and stopping just as soon as he had started.Matrix assumed that she had not been moved, so he flew down the stairs to the bottom deck, breaking into a run and internally scolding himself for leaving her alone for this long.He remembered how he had left her last night simply to get a breath of fresh air, and then he must have fallen asleep and had his dream, and now it was the next day.He began to silently pray, 'Please don't let her wake up alone...I don't want her to be alone...'

But before he could get to the private bunkroom that held AndrAIa's fading life, he was stopped.He hadn't been watching where he was going, for he had just been thinking about getting to her as fast as he could, and then he felt himself collide with something else, sending him sprawling to the floor.

Normally, if another sprite were to run into him, he would threaten them for being so careless and clumsy.But, being in the unresponsive state that he was currently in, he just stood up and was going to continue going, if it wasn't for the arm that reached out and grabbed his leg, pulling him down to the floor, and snapping him back into reality.

With a scowl that could kill, he looked at the face of the person that tripped him.The scowl deepened when he noticed the familiar white-blond hair, the sunglasses, the chiseled skull on top of a blue racing suit clothed, muscular body.The Surfer.

Matrix could have killed him at that very moment.Deep down inside, he knew that everything that had happened was not entirely Ray's fault.However, the irrational portion of him, the portion that had been controlling him ever since he had entered into the games, told him that Ray was to blame.And Matrix wanted to believe it:his jealous blindness made him view Ray in a way that distorted who he really was.Instead of seeing Ray as a relatively nice guy who just like to flirt with people, just as everyone else in every system did, Matrix saw Ray as a malicious player who only wanted AndrAIa for himself, to keep her away from him.Matrix also knew inside that if it weren't for his jealousy, he would have been there to protect AndrAIa, and therefore prevent this entire mess she was in from happening.But instead, he just blamed everything on Ray, and hated Ray ever more for it.

"Get out of my way."Matrix growled, with a ferociousness the likes of which none had ever seen from him before.Ray just looked at him with confusion, because he innocently did not know why Matrix was so angry.He understood why Matrix would be upset, but he had never seen anyone take sadness and morph it into rage before.He admittedly did not know Matrix very well, but he assumed that Matrix just needed to talk to someone.

"Matrix, uh..." Ray started.But Matrix didn't let him finish.He got on the defensive, and hurled himself up to his feet, crashing through Ray.Ray was still for a moment, in his shock, but once he realized what Matrix was planning to do, he hurried to get a hold on him.He had to stop him; Matrix was in no state to see what was left of AndrAIa.

Ray reached out an arm and roughly grabbed onto Matrix's shoulder.Matrix didn't know what Ray was trying to do, but his fear combined with his jealousy made him assume that this was just another of Ray's attempts to hold him back, to prevent him from living his life the way he wanted to.In his mind, he just thought about how AndrAIa hadn't needed protection from any web creatures or anything like that, but instead she just needed protection from the snakes that would try to tear her life apart.Ray was one of these snakes; he presented himself all kind-hearted, but in reality he was trying to get her killed from the very beginning.He wanted her to die, and what was more, he wanted her to die alone.

"I won't leave her alone, and you can't stop me!"That, plus a loud scream of blind hatred, drove Matrix to lash out at Ray, with his fists clenched, his teeth grinding, and his body completely tense.Ray backed away a little, but he didn't fear what Matrix could do to him, but rather what he could do to AndrAIa, or to any of the crewmembers that might get in his way.

"Matrix, you need to calm down."Ray reached out an arm, trying to comfort Matrix, but Matrix just shook it off and lashed out again, this time striking Ray successfully.Ray went flying across the hallway, landing hard on the far wall.He hit it with such a force that his head was struck and he slumped to the ground unconscious before he even knew that he had left Matrix's side.Matrix just took one look at him and ran away, heading for the room in which AndrAIa lay.

And then, there she was.Deathly still, her eyes closed, her entire body flickering and slowly turning translucent.It was actually a miracle that she had survived the night, but Matrix never thought for a moment about that.He knew that she would still be alive when he got there, and soon she would wake up, and he would take care of her until she regained her strength, and then everything would be like it had been.

Matrix was in denial.Every sprite in the world knew what that kind of flickering meant:death was not far from this room.Matrix clenched his fists and bit down on his lip, doing it so hard once again that blood almost instantly appeared.His eyes circled around the room, and he saw two binomes seated on both sides of the bed, looking up at him with awe and fear and just the tiniest little bit of sympathy.Then, they looked down at AndrAIa, looked at each other, and stood up to leave the room, all without saying a word.They closed the door behind them, and Matrix was left alone.

He forced himself to look at her.His mind still told him that she wasn't dying, but the tiny little rational part of his heart told him that he had to be strong, for her sake.He had to admit to himself that this was serious, and that she needed every ounce of love and care that he could give her.So, he looked at her face, at her closed eyes and her limp hands, and walked over to her very slowly.He took small steps, one after another, not looking at anything except her face, and he reached the side of the bed.Then, suddenly, the tears returned.

"No!" he said out loud.He shook his head and grabbed it, then slapped himself for starting to cry.Now, more than ever, he couldn't be weak and cry like a little child.If he was going to bring her back, he had to be strong about it, to encourage her.Crying wouldn't do anything."I won't cry, I won't cry, stop crying you stupid little weakling!Stop crying!"

These words were so familiar to him...he had said them so many times throughout the night that they were becoming almost a prayer for him, one that he had to say every day in order to feel complete and in touch with the world around him.He kept saying them over and over again as he slowly sat down by the side of the bed, still looking at her face, still fighting the tears that refused to go away.Even as he stopped saying the words, in his mind he was still repeating 'I won't cry, I won't cry'.And he didn't.Instead, he reached out his hand, touched hers, which felt only like a little breath of air from some tiny little baby, and took a deep breath.He had to say something to her, for she couldn't see him.He knew that she knew he was here, but he had to say something, to give her strength.Words alone would keep them together.

"Hey, AndrAIa."He paused, for that was the only thing he could think to say.There were so many things that he had wanted to tell her, but he didn't know how to say any of them, nor did he know where to begin.

"I know you're hurting so badly inside, AndrAIa.I know that this, that all of this, must be so painful for you.And I know that you are a warrior, and I know that you are fighting and you aren't giving in to anything.I'm here to just help you fight, just as I've always been here to help you fight."

And then he abruptly stopped talking, for the lump returned to his throat, stronger and thicker than it had ever been before.He tried so hard, and he once again touched his head and shook his entire body and said the words, "I won't cry, I won't cry", but he couldn't fight it.He felt small tears drip out of his eyes and begin to roll down his cheeks.He rubbed his face, making them go away, but more and more appeared in his eyes, and then on his cheeks.There were so many tears...so many tears...he couldn't fight them all.They just had penetrated his senses and were overpowering him, destroying the strength that he thought he had and bringing a feeling of weakness into his heart.He fought for a while, and then with a small cry fell to the floor once more, screwing his eyes shut incredibly tight.He curled his body up into a fetal position and rocked back and forth on the ground, returning for a moment to the little boy mindset where crying helped.It made him feel better, and worse at the same time.It made him feel like a person with feelings, and like a little boy who had no dignity.

************

Ray's eyes fluttered open after what must have been seconds after his little run-in with Matrix.He groaned and reached out his hand to touch his forehead.He had quite a headache, which he knew would not go away for a while, no matter how much he rubbed his temples.So, he forced himself to stand up after a little while, bringing dizziness, but it was bearable to the point where he could walk a little.He didn't know how he had gotten on the floor, slumped up against the wall with a splitting headache and a cut right above his eye, but he did remember that he had been trying to stop Matrix from going to see AndrAIa when Matrix had gone off on him.He would normally be infuriated at Matrix's actions; his pugilistic nature had gone too far this time, and he had started a fight that was not justified at all.But, as Ray walked slowly towards the room in which AndrAIa was, he knew better than to scold Matrix for it.He felt bad enough about what Matrix must have been going through; Matrix didn't need, and probably couldn't deal with, criticism right then.

He reached out an arm and steadied himself on the doorway.He was still very dizzy and needed to sit down.He opened the door slowly at first, but then as he saw Matrix on the floor out of the corner of his eye he forgot about his own pain and threw the door open, rushing over to Matrix to see why he was on the floor.

"Matrix?Are you awake?Matrix, say something!"Ray yelled.But Matrix was unresponsive; his eyes were closed and he looked like he was asleep, except he wasn't waking up.

Ray shook him, but when that didn't do any good he yelled out for help from everyone, from anyone who was around.

"Someone get in here now!"Ray yelled.Almost immediately, two binomes appeared at the doorway, gasped, and rushed in to help Ray with Matrix.Ray recognized them as the two that had been watching over AndrAIa prior to Matrix's entrance.Then, more and more came, until almost the entire crew was down, squeezing together to try to get a look at what was going on.

The captain managed to shove his way through and crouched down beside Matrix's still body.He had thought, at first, that Ray was calling out because AndrAIa had finally died, but he looked over and saw that AndrAIa, though considerably dimmer, was still alive.

"What happened to him?" the Captain said as he reached down onto Matrix's neck to see if his body was still somewhat warm.

"I don't know...I just came in here a few minutes ago.He had been in here for a while, and I thought he was okay..." Ray's voice trailed off.That was actually untrue; he hadn't thought that Matrix had been okay since AndrAIa had been wounded.In fact, despite the fact that Ray didn't remember anything about what had happened before he had been knocked out, he did specifically remember the look in Matrix's eyes as he met him in the hallway.His eyes had looked empty and hollow, then when he saw Ray they looked bloodshot and insane, and then finally as he delivered the final blow they had been, well, he wanted to say almost full of pain.Ray would never say anything about it, but he thought that he had seen tears.

"Well, we need to get him into another room to rest, and he needs to be monitored."Then the Captain swore underneath his breath, and made a cry of disgust as he said, "I should have known better than to leave him alone in this kind of a state!"

Ray just nodded and motioned for a few bystanders to help them carry Matrix out of the room, which would be no little task, considering his size.They gathered around his legs, arms, torso, and one got his head, and they lifted him up slowly.They were almost ready to carry him out when the little binome holding his head jumped back and shrieked.Ray was about to ask what was the matter, but he didn't need to.

Matrix suddenly began to thrash wildly.His eyes were still oddly closed, but his mouth twisted into a snarl, and his fists clenched, making his huge, muscular arms tense up as hard as they could get.Ray yelled for everyone to get back, but it was too late. Matrix's fists began to swing around, striking binomes at every angle, and because of his massive strength some of them were greatly injured.They cried out as he hit them in their eyes, their chests, and their legs, everywhere.And no one was brave enough to step up and attempt to restrain him, so they all just screamed and pushed each other out of the way, desperately trying to get out of the room.Ray went along with it, but instead of trying to get himself out he aided the others in clearing out of the room, and all the while just looked at Matrix.He noticed that his eyes were still not open, but on his face there were wet stains mixed with fresh tears, and he had a cut on his lip that looked large.His hands, too, were covered in gashes that had not been there before he had gone into the room to be with AndrAIa.Ray could only assume the worse: that Matrix had done all of this to himself, and was now so incredibly controlled by his insanity that he was in a deep sleep.Ray could only imagine what must have been going through his head.

As almost everyone scrambled to get out of the room, however, one brave and somewhat suicidal binome tried to stop all of this.He looked around, and saw a piece of heavy metal by AndrAIa's bed.It looked like some piece of machinery, and he had no idea what it did, but he thought that if he could get to it he could use it to bash Matrix on the head and perhaps knock him out.So, as everyone else pushed against him, he forced his way over to the bed and somehow got past the thrashing Matrix to be within a reasonable distance of the machine.He looked around once more, and it didn't look like anyone had seen him, so he began to raise the metal piece above his head, and prepared to use it.

But then, his face twisted with horror as he noticed Matrix turn around to look at him.And what this little binome was doing Matrix did not know, but the binome saw Matrix open his eyes to reveal two bloody, wet orbs that seemed to burn fire in their pupils.No one had ever seen this kind of rage before, and the little binome did not know what provoked him to open his eyes.But what the binome did not know what that Matrix saw what he was doing as slightly different.

Matrix was still in the mindset that told him everyone around, everyone in the entire universe was only out to hurt him and to hurt AndrAIa.So, as he looked at this tiny little creature that stood in front of him, its eyes filled with horror, only saw a cowardly little virus that was trying to hurt AndrAIa when she was in a vulnerable position.He saw this little coward, raising a piece of equipment over his head, snickering as he thought about how much pain AndrAIa must have been in that moment, and how she was only going to suffer a little bit more, and then she would be deleted forever.He was enjoying this, and had been the one who had woken Matrix up in order to distract him, and he was just a malicious little vulture who lived only to create suffering in Matrix's life.

So, Matrix reached out his arms, and as he yelled the most anguished cry of hate ever heard in the entire system, grabbed the binome by the neck, and immediately a loud crack was heard from underneath his hands.

************

Whew!I think that was the longest chapter I've written!I'm sorry if it isn't as good as some of the others, but there needed to be a little movement to the story.Thank you for reading, and, as always, please review (even if you think it sucked - but be nice!)

--MJ


	4. Games

One Night Alone

One Night Alonea reboot fanfic by Mary Jane 

CHAPTER FOUR:GAMES

Everyone was still, and silent.The occurrence had not yet sunk in, but the disgusting crack was echoing in their ears still.They all stared at the man in front of them, who had become something that he was not before.Before, he had been a gruff warrior who they all knew had dangerous potential, but they had never expected him to become something like this, something that would hurt them.And now, he was something else, something that they had never seen before, something that had wild eyes and an empty heart and a soul that had gone from tough to dead to absolute evil.

Matrix's arms still clenched, and they were still extended in front of him, in the position that they had been in when he grabbed the tiny little binome.But, now there was no binome in his hands, for he had watched as its core snapped in half, its eyes slowly drifted shut, and it faded into the surroundings.Matrix had no idea what he had done, but at the same time he had no idea that any of this was really happening.He was trapped, in a world where his rage controlled every action and every movement that he performed.His mind was focused on protecting the ones he loved, for he thought that all around him there were beings that lived only to kill, but in reality he was simply blind to the truth:that he was the evil one, he was the one who had given in to hatred, and he was the one who lived to kill.

As he continued to stare at the space in front of him, Matrix slowly lowered his arms down to his sides, panting heavily and smiling a tiny little smile.In his mind, the sound of the crack was music, for it was the sound of the death of everything that he hated.He pictured Megabyte, and Hexadecimal, and the red devil that had defeated him and had sent him into this world as a renegade.He pictured the sprite in the story, the one he hated so much, who had abandoned everything that it loved in order to achieve its own desires.All these pictures, all these memories were flooding his mind, and just as the little boy who had once dreamed of being a hero and defeating the forces of evil, Matrix now stood.A gleam in his eye, a feeling of strength and power flowing through his central nervous system, his heart bursting with pride; no man had ever been more wrong.

Ray was among the ones who stared, but instead of remaining in awe and fear of this great man before him, he stared with disgust and an almost equal amount of hatred to what Matrix felt.He whispered, in a voice that was so quiet no one could hear him even if they were listening, "What have you done?"

"What have you done, Matrix?"

************

The children all laughed as they watched him spin around and around, with a blindfold over his eyes and his hands stretched out in front of him.There were a lot of rocks around, and Enzo couldn't help but fall over them, for he had no idea where he was going or what he was walking in to.He could hear the other children laughing at him as he stumbled and fell, but he didn't care.He simply laughed along with them.

It was a beautiful day, with a clear sky, perfect temperatures, and not a game cube in sight.Of course, Enzo found game cubes fun and exciting, but he always enjoyed a little break from all the action.And that was what this was: a group of friends who had gathered after school and played blind man's bluff, a popular game among young children in the city.There was also an air of danger around all the children, one that they absolutely loved and thrived on.It was the feeling of complete freedom from all the responsibilities that life had to offer, like parents and work and problems and duties.The woods in which they played, although they had played in it so many times before, took on a whole new life.The trees grew larger, and they covered over every patch of grass beneath them, darkening the world with a frightening and exciting cover.

Enzo began to laugh harder as the other children began to chorus at him."You can't catch us, you can't catch us!"They all yelled at him.Some of them even formed a circle around him, joining hands and spinning in a wild frenzy as the game progressed.Some of the bigger sprites came up to him and tried to figure out how close they could get to him without getting caught, and Enzo lunged in all directions in the hope of breaking their little bubbles.He thought to himself, 'I am the champion of the system!None of these viruses in training can escape the wrath of the guardian!'

One little girl sprite watched this all with a grin on her face.She actually had a little bit of a crush on Enzo; to her, he was the dark knight.He was much bigger than she, and he was strong compared to all the other boys, and he always seemed to be taking risks.He lived his life very dangerously, and was known to do crazy things like enter game cubes without anyone with him.There was even a rumor, which had become more of a legend around the playground, that Enzo once saved the life of the guardian of the city, Bob.The legend went that Bob, the indestructible, had been struck by a stupefying ray that made his intelligence plummet, and he became as stupid as an ant trying to cross the street.In fact, this ray had struck everyone in the entire city, and they were at the mercy of both the forces of evil and the game cubes that may come down.And when a game cube did, Enzo took charge, for he was the only one with enough strength and intelligence left to win the game.And win the game he did.Yes, to her, Enzo was a regular sex symbol.

Some of her girl friends were playing the game with her, and they saw her staring at Enzo with stars in her eyes.They all giggled and gathered around her, teasing her about how much she liked Enzo, and how in love she was.She playfully denied their accusations, but as they began to push her closer to him, she didn't struggle.They practically carried her over to a reasonable distance by the blindfolded Enzo, and they told her that she should impress him.When she looked back at them with confusion in her eyes, they told her to do various things.Things like go up to him and let him catch her, then kiss him.Or, better yet, impress him by doing what only the big boys did: go up close to him, taunt him, and then run away.Yes, that was it, they all said.Impress him with your running skills, for after all, she was the best runner of all the girls!

The little girl turned around and looked again at Enzo, who was still trying to catch the guys that were around him.She stood in awe for a moment at how fast he was, and how much courage it must have took to be blindfolded in such a rocky area, where it is dark and mysterious and easy to get hurt.Then, after swallowing hard and clenching her fists, she stepped up right behind Enzo, slowly.The boys that had been around him didn't notice her at first, and continued along with their own antics, but slowly they all saw her walk up.A couple of them laughed at her, but as she continued to walk foreword they stopped and stared at her.They noticed, among all other things, that she was very pretty, with her long almost white blond hair, blue eyes and tanned cheeks.They also took notice of how little she was, and how they had never seen a little girl muster up this kind of courage to stand up to a boy much bigger than she.As she got within distance of Enzo's arms, there was no one around him except for her, and it had grown strangely, almost eerily, quiet.All eyes were on her.

Enzo was confused.He didn't know why it was so quiet, or where everyone had gone, for he felt that there was no one anywhere around him.He was alone, in the dark, without a hint as to where his friends were.He wasn't scared, for a simple little game like this where people were constantly trying to trick him didn't scare him, but he had never liked the feeling of being alone.

The little girl took in a deep breath, and said in a loud voice, "Enzo is blind!Enzo doesn't know about anything going on around him!"

Enzo whirled around and lunged in the direction of the voice, but there was nothing there.He continued to spin around and around, making himself dizzy, even though he could not see anything.He didn't recognize the voice, and since no one had said anything except simple little taunts to him before, he had no idea who he was chasing.

"Enzo is just a little boy in a big world!He is lost, he is in the dark, and he has no one with him, no one around him!There's no one here to help you, Enzo!"

All of the other children were deathly still.They were amazed at this little girl, for no one had ever done anything like this before.And what was more, they listened to her words with mystery and confusion in their hearts.She wasn't talking about the game anymore, and even if she was, she was talking about the game on another level than any of them had ever considered it before.It was a game, not life.But here, right in front of them, this little girl almost seemed to be accusing Enzo of something.In reality, she was simply flirting with him, trying to drive him closer to her, but something in her voice gave a different impression.Something in her voice wasn't right.

"Do you feel alone, Enzo?C'mon, you do, don't you?I'm here, but you don't know who I am!You, don't you know where your friends are?They're here, but you can't see them, and they aren't moving so you can't detect them.Do you **really** know if they are here or not?"

She paused for a minute, and circled around and around him, beginning to laugh.The children still stared as the game progressed.Now they were starting to get just the tiniest little bit scared.The world was spinning around in front of them, like a carousel ride on a warm night in the warm season.They saw the world in front of them as a blur, and as something that did not maintain all of the truths that it was supposed to have.This tiny little girl was a catalyst for their world; it was no longer an innocent world in the forest with games and laughter, but a world that they had all actually been trying to escape.The world in front of them was a whirl of confusion.Enzo, also, was confused, and he didn't want to play this game any more, but something drove him onward.He wanted to catch this person, he wanted to destroy the things that this person was saying.He wanted to stop the world that this person was creating, for it was a world that he hated.He did not like the darkness, the confusion, and the never-ending noise.

"Come on, Enzo!Come on, ENZO!Catch me!End it all, Enzo!"

"END IT ALL!"

With a scream, Enzo, managed to out run the voice, and he caught the being in his hands.He felt it go silent, and it struggled and squirmed and tried desperately to try to get out of his grasp.He could tell that this being was not one of the boys who had previously taunted him, but instead, this was a much younger, much smaller creature.It had long hair, and it wasn't very strong, for he easily managed to lift it off of the ground.A little cry escaped the throat of his prisoner, and from what he heard, he knew it was a girl.A little girl, no older than .8 or .9.Enzo thought about what he should do to her, for it was customary that the prey was at the mercy of the predator, in this game, at least.Normally, the boys would throw each other into the nearby stream, or they would body slam each other, or they would simply throw each other as far as they could, and wherever they landed was their problem. But Enzo didn't really know what to do with someone smaller than he.What does one do to someone smaller than himself or herself?

After a long session of thought, Enzo found that he didn't really have time to make a decision.The little girl was still struggling in his arms, and she was beginning to become very frightened.She hadn't known that Enzo was this strong, and she didn't think that she would be captured.But here she was, at the mercy of her predator, and she had seen what the predators had done to their prey.They hurt each other, even if it was a playful hurt.And she didn't know if Enzo would do the same thing to her.Honestly, she didn't really want to find out.So, she had continued to fight, until she did feel Enzo's hands going a little loose on her.With all of her energy, she bit his hand as hard as her little teeth would bite.Enzo screamed in surprise and in pain, and he carelessly dropped her to the ground, then turned around, took the blindfold off, and looked down at his hand.The girl fell to the ground with a cry, hit it, and then she was still.But for the moment, no one noticed.

They all gathered around Enzo.They were still in shock from what the game had morphed in to, but they just wanted to make sure than Enzo was okay, for he was the one that they thought had gotten hurt.They asked him, "Are you bleeding?What did she do?Does it hurt?What was going on back there?"

This went on for a while.But, slowly, one by one, they noticed a little bit of liquid on the ground that had not been there before.They looked down, pointed it out to their friends, and gawked at it and also at the little girl, who was still stagnant and motionless on the ground.Eventually, one of them tapped Enzo on the shoulder, saying, "Enzo, what did you do to her?"

Enzo turned around, and then his eyes widened, and he rushed over to the little girl's figure.Her eyes were still open, frozen in time, and they still possessed the look of terror that had been in them when she was in his arms.He slowly turned her over onto her back, and he gasped with fear as he saw her hair, once light, was now becoming a deep shade of crimson red.It stained everything around her, from her neck to the ground to the rock on which she had fallen.The other children gathered around, and Enzo sat back, putting his hand over his face, his eyes beginning to fill with tears of fear and shame.He didn't look up once, but he could feel the eyes of everyone around him, looking back and forth between him and the little girl.He knew what they were thinking, and he was thinking the same thing.She was smaller than he was, why had he done this, why had he been so cruel?He didn't think that he had done it on purpose; his arms had just almost been possessed by something that wasn't him, something that was dark and hateful.He realized that he hadn't dropped her; he had slammed her to the ground, in his rage.And no one knew if she was still alive.

Their eyes said it all.'What have you done?What have you done?'

What have you done, Enzo?

*****************

Matrix felt like he had been run through by the sharpest sword of energy that existed.His heart, it felt like it had been pulled out of his chest and was lying on the ground in front of him.His mind swam with confusion, and his ears rang from the noise produced from inside his head.He thought he was going mad, or, he wondered, was he only coming back to sanity?

History had repeated itself.He only now allowed himself to notice it, as he looked around and only then began to see.He saw all the eyes, staring at him, accusing him of being evil and disgusting when he wanted to desperately to say that it wasn't his fault.But, then, he knew it was his fault, even though he felt like he had not been in control of his own body for the last cycle.So, what was the truth?What had he done?He asked himself over and over again, 'What have I done?Am I as disgusting and evil and repulsive as the things that I hate?Am I becoming what I hate?Am I feeding the creation of the world that I hate?What have I done?'

And he began to cry again.Except this time, he did not fight it, for he wanted to cry.He felt so hopeless and so unloved and unwanted that he just wanted to start his life all over again.He wanted his mother, he wanted his sister, he wanted to be an innocent little boy again, he wanted everything bad in his life to just disappear, he wanted someone to come up to him and comfort him, for he felt so alone.

All the binomes and all the sprites on board the ship still looked at him, their eyes becoming confused at the sight of Matrix openly crying in front of them.They hated him, but they pitied him at the same time.He had changed right in front of them, going from a wild, evil man to a scared, innocent little boy trapped in the same body as before.They didn't know what to do.So, they just listened as Matrix sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.And among the sobs, they only heard a few words come out.They were almost the same words as he had said before, under his breath.He had been saying, "What have I done, what have I done?"

Now all he said was, "What have I become?"

Whew!Another long chapter!Sorry about that, I'll work on that in the future.Thank you for reading, and please, as always, review!

--MJ


	5. Lost in Thoughts

ONE NIGHT ALONE a reboot fanfiction by Mary Jane

ONE NIGHT ALONE a reboot fanfiction by Mary Jane

Chapter Five: 

"I'm the same, aren't I?"

Ray looked down at Matrix. He was sitting on a chair right beside the bed where Matrix had been placed, after he had killed the little binome and immediately collapsed afterward. He jumped a little at the sound of Matrix's voice, for he hadn't heard a sound from the huge man for what felt like a lifetime. But as he looked down, he saw that Matrix had silently turned over to face Ray, and was staring at him with huge eyes, still bloodshot. Ray had no idea where that question had come from, or what it meant, or what he should say in response to it. So, he just sat there and stared at Matrix.

Matrix looked back at him for a long time, but as he realized that Ray wasn't going to answer his question, he leaned back and positioned himself so that he was lying on his back. He brought his hands up to his face and covered his eyes, heaving a deep sigh. Ray had never seen him like this, but he wasn't entirely surprised at the way that Matrix was acting. After such an experience, Matrix was liable to do anything that wasn't part of his character or his normal demeanor. 

Ray looked down at the floor and thought about what the question meant. It probably meant that Matrix was just in denial of who he was, and he was trying to convince himself that even though he had committed a blind murder, he was still just a sprite. But Ray thought about that, and he didn't know what it was that made him not believe that this was really what Matrix meant. Maybe it was his voice, the way it didn't seem to plead with him for the answer that he wanted, as most desperate people did. Or possibly it was his eyes, the way they looked like they belonged to a tiny child and to a dying old being at the same time. They possessed innocence and remorse at the same time. Or maybe it was just something that he couldn't put his finger on; an aura, just a feeling, surrounding Matrix, making him someone completely different, who had questions for the world that the world could not answer.

As Matrix heaved another deep sigh, Ray stood up. He felt ashamed of himself for feeling so much sympathy for Matrix, when there were others on the ship who deserved so much more than they were getting. He felt like Matrix didn't deserve any care at all; he had committed murder, he had been possessed by hatred, he had destroyed the trust of the others towards him. He didn't even deserve to live, but something in Ray told him that Matrix probably knew that already. And Ray wasn't about to scold him, for Matrix had been through so much in the past few days that it was unthinkable to make things worse for him, if such a thing was actually possible. But Ray didn't want to be in this room anymore. So, he headed for the door, reached out, opened it, and just as quietly as Matrix had woken up, left.

Matrix was lost in his thoughts. Everything that had ever happened to him was now swirling around in his head, telling him so many things about himself that he had never wanted to admit before. But now, as everything around him appeared to shrivel up and die, he realized who he had become, and how much he had become like those he hated. He was callous, unfeeling, harsh, isolated, and worst of all, alone. He was the sprite who had left his friend behind to die, for he had not only left AndrAIa alone without protection and care, but also, he had left his sister, in his mad dash to grow up and become a man. Truly, he had become a man, but he was not the man that he had hoped to be. But at the same time, he was still the little boy who had injured one so much smaller than he. He had seen things incorrectly, and instead of seeing that little binome as one who had only been trying to help him, he had seen it as a malicious thing that only lived to injure him. That little girl in the woods that day; she had only liked him, and wanted to play with him, and flirt with him. But he had not seen it as thus; he had seen her as someone who was trying to destroy his confidence, and make him believe that he was putrid and horrible.

But he was not angry with himself for all of these things. He was past rage; it had made him so tired, and now that there was no energy left in him with which to fight the truth, he could only lie on his bed and think about it. His thinking had brought sadness, a sadness that he had never known before. He knew that he deserved all of it, but he almost wanted everything to come to him. He appreciated the pain, because the pain was almost a voice that told him it was not too late. He still possessed a soul, and he still had the ability to feel for others. So, he welcomed the exhaustion, and the hurt, and the worry.

************

Ray wandered the halls of the Mare's lower decks for some time. Like Matrix, he was completely lost in thought, so much so that he was starting to walk into the walls and the tables. But he didn't care.

He had seen AndrAIa. Everyone was amazed that she still lived; a normal sprite would not have lasted one cycle with that kind of injury, and here AndrAIa was, still battling, after three cycles. But she was getting dimmer and dimmer, and she could not fight forever. But nothing could be done. No one knew what kind of medicine she needed, or what kind of things could be done to make the what must have been excruciating pain a little bit easier for her to bear. Ray was terrified for her, and wanted to stay with her, but he felt like he just couldn't. She reminded him too much of Matrix, who looked like he was dying as well, except he was dying in mind, not in body. Besides, if Matrix ever regained his strength and was able to walk over to her room, Ray would not be able to face him. Everything about him was just frightening, in a hopeless way.

So, he just walked. He eventually made his way up the stairs to the main deck, without even knowing where he was going. There were binomes all over the deck, gathered in little groups. Some looked like they had been crying, some were still crying, some were just lost in thought, and yet still others looked angry. Angry enough to kill. All heads turned to look at Ray, but he didn't look back. He just walked among them like a ghost, silent, and carrying a cold air with him. 

The Captain, who had been just staring out at the web as it passed by the ship, turned to look at Ray, and immediately he rushed over to him. He called out Ray's name a couple of times, but when Ray didn't respond to any noise whatsoever, he walked right in front of him. He reached out his arm and touched Ray on the waist, which was about as far as he could reach. Ray stopped, and slowly he came back to reality, and saw the Captain standing in front of him with a concerned look on his face. 

"Captain..." he breathed out with a sigh. "How are you? How has everyone been taking all of this?"

"Not very well, I'm afraid. As you can see, it is all anyone can think about."

"I'm not surprised at all." Ray fell silent, and looked down at the floor again. The Captain, too, stared at the floor for a little while, but then looked up at Ray intently. He reached out his arm again to put it on Ray's waist, and as Ray looked up at him the Captain gave him a sympathetic look.

"There wasn't anything you could have done, lad. Don't fret over that."

"I'm not. I probably should be, but I'm not." Ray said with shame in his voice.

"Then what is on your mind? Please don't tell me that you are replaying that scene in your head, so many other crew members are doing that, and they are making themselves ill."

"No, I'm not thinking about that either. I was earlier, but now I've just been thinking about..." Ray's voice trailed off. He knew that he shouldn't tell the Captain what he was thinking; it would cause an outburst, because Ray knew it was wrong.

"Tell me. I'm only here to help."

"No, I'm sorry. This is just something that I will have to think about myself." Ray walked around the Captain and started to go below deck again, but he stopped when he heard the Captain's voice almost read his mind.

"You're thinking about your friend, aren't you? Matrix, the boy Enzo? That is what is on your mind, is it not?"

Ray turned to look at the Captain. He was fully ready to deny it, especially because everyone around him was now staring at the two, but when he saw the look in the Captain's eyes he just remained silent. The Captain still had that look of sympathy in his eyes, except it almost looked like it was magnified. Now, he was looking upon Ray the way that Ray had known he had looked upon Matrix. He saw Ray as a child in front of him; a scared little boy who was struggling to grow up, except that his mind was still so controlled by innocence. Ray almost felt like he wanted to cry when he saw everyone else turn to him, and look at him as if there was something different about him, something that was drastically altered. He felt the same, and he truly did look the same. He looked the same in his body, that is.


	6. Final Words

One Night Alone a reboot fanfiction by Mary Jane

One Night Alone a reboot fanfiction by Mary Jane

Chapter Six: Final Words

The world seemed so much different around him. He had been still, as it seemed, for his entire life, and now that his life was undergoing a metamorphosis, one that he was unable to stop, his eyes seemed to tell his mind different things. He looked at things that he had been looking at his whole life, and he saw things that mystified him as they would mystify a tiny child. He reached out his hand, trying to touch the new things that he saw, but his fingers only drifted through the air, feeling the wind of his movements across them. He almost wanted to cry when he found that he could touch nothing, he could feel nothing. He saw beauty and wonder all around him, two things that it seemed he had never seen before, but he still could not touch them. And it seemed like they mocked him, as they drifted across the world in front of him, smiling down at him with their pearly splendor, always being mindful to stay out of his reach.

He had not moved at all for quite some time. Were anyone to walk into the room in which he lay, they would have looked down at him, seen his glazed over eyes and frozen face, and they would have thought to themselves that he had died in vain, with longing written all over his face. They also would have seen the tears in his eyes, and they would have seen the despair that they carried with them, but one thing they would not see would be the hope that had held them back for so long. He had almost been praying for what seemed like a lifetime, and now there was nothing left to pray for, as it seemed. Everything that he had cared about was plastered into his eyes, making them irritated and bloodshot, and everything that he remembered that had been lost to him for so long only made them freeze in their position. A person who knew him well could have, if they had the heart to look, seen his entire life written in those two eyes. As still and as dead as they seemed, they carried the burdens of a man who had suffered, and who had laughed, and who had cried and loved and hoped and shared and hated and denied and denied and denied. A powerful sight for any onlooker, but a sight that none could understand by only looking for a moment. 

The other beings traveling with him had stopped checking in on him. They could not hate him, despite all he had done, and they could not be angry with him. They could only pity him. Some, even, were wishing for him to die, but they were not wishing for it out of maliciousness and fury. They were wishing for it out of mercy. They had seen his eyes for one tiny moment, and they forced themselves to look away, but they had seen a glimpse of more pain than they had ever seen before. They seemed to see him age in front of them, and as they saw all of this, they forced themselves to look away. As was said before, there had never been so much life written all over someone who looked like death, and their little hearts, as understanding and caring as they were, could not fathom the reason behind these eyes. They looked down at the ground, and they had left him alone, and some brave souls had checked in on him every once in a while to see if he was coming back to life, but they had stopped after seeing no improvement. It wasn't that they were giving up hope, although they were beginning to; it was that they were frightened, more so than they had ever been in their lives. 

Matrix himself wanted to stand up, even though in his heart he felt like he had no bodily strength left. He wanted to walk over to the other chamber, where his only companion was dying, and say his final words. He had started out with hope that she would heal, and then his hope had changed to denial of the entire situation, and then he had moved into the idea that perhaps death truly was not far from this vessel. But he had always thought that he would be the one to die, if any one was to die, so he still had difficulty in coming to terms with the death of another. And he knew that time was running out, and he had gotten to the point where he admitted to himself that this was one thing that he was powerless to stop, that he could do absolutely nothing to prevent. He knew of ways to delay death, but there was a difference between delaying death and reviving life. So, he was still on his back, staring up at the nothingness that would never be tangible to him, and trying to think of the right words to say to the only one he cared for anymore. 

His eyes remained open, but in his mind they closed, and he saw things flash in front of his eyes. He saw all of the things that he had hoped he would see again, except that he wouldn't have to see them alone. He thought of all the wonderful aspects of his childhood, and all the memories of his short adolescence, and all of the secret thoughts inside his head as he showed only gruffness and austerity to the outside world. He thought of the dreams that he had as he slept, unknowing but uncaring of where and when he would wake up. 

They were all little things, things that he had not really taken an extreme notice to when they had actually happened, but they played out forever in his mind as he recalled them to life. 

He had been lying on his back, with his arms outstretched on both sides of his body, his infant eyes staring up at the sky in wonder. He knew no words, so he could not write poetry or sing of the things in front of him, but his mind made up noteless, lyricless melodies that only played the music of peace. The sky above him had been black, with tiny white dots scattered numerously all over it, the tiny little dots of information that everyone knew something about, but no one really knew anything about. They had stayed still, and they had danced for him, accompanying the melody that played in his head. A silent ballet, as it seemed, played in front of him, only for him, made by him. 

He had been young, but not that young. He stood with his sister, who was so much bigger than he, and he looked up at her with reverence and respect and love. She had looked down at him with an equal expression, smiling her beautiful smile as she reached out and took his hand. Then she looked away, at the adventure in front of them, but on her face he could still see the protection that she offered him. Every little feature, no matter how small, told him different things, but all these different things came together and made sense to him. She guarded him, and told him that there was nothing to fear, and that she would always be right by his side. He looked ahead to where she looked, and saw something that he had always wanted to do but had always been afraid of, took a deep breath, and looked back at her, waiting for her signal. And the signal came, when she took her own deep breath, and immediately afterwards her face twisted with delight, her mouth curving upwards, her eyes screwing shut. She clenched his hand harder, and they both took huge steps, running, preparing to jump into the water. He felt the wind as he fell, and then he felt the roughness of the slide, and then he felt the icy jolt of the water, but he also always felt her hand joined with his. And he could not help but smile.

He had been so scared. There he had sat, in the dark, with only one eye working. Everything hurt, but nothing hurt more than the feeling in his heart. The game had only just ended, and he had, in a desperate act, saved his own life and the lives of his companions by changing they icon modes. But he felt in his heart that he was to blame for everything that had happened, and more than that, everything that was going on happen. What was going to happen? He kept asking himself this question as he asked himself so many other questions: why did I fail, what did I do wrong, what will happen to everyone now that there is no one to protect them, what will become of my friends, will I still be able to protect them, am I a protector, or am I just a weakling, like everyone told me before? The questions spun around and around, driving him insane, and scaring him, greater than anything had ever scared him before. But as he wrapped his arms around his torn, bloody knees, he felt a little hand touch his shoulder. He looked up and saw her, and he felt both shame and joy at the sight in her eyes. Shame, for they told him that she still had faith in him, even though he knew that he was undeserving of anyone's faith. And joy, because they still possessed the look that had been there before. She still looked at him as her best friend, not as a miserable failure.

All of these little things, all of these occurances that really did not matter in the grand scheme of things, were the things that now he could not seem to take his mind off of. What made it even stranger, and yet what made it even more powerful in his heart, was that he had forgotten about all of them. He hadn't remembered the kindness that people had looked at him with, the joy that he had felt inside of himself when he saw the love in their eyes, the warmth of a simple embrace from someone he cared about. Or perhaps, he hadn't forgotten about them, but when he decided that all emotions both got in the way and also were a sign of weakness in beings, he dismissed everything about himself that was gentle. But whether he had forgotten or simply dismissed the feelings was insignificant at this moment, for now he had become a child again. He was the child who forgot about the pain of a wound as soon as someone placed a bandage over it.

************

"Hey everyone!" a voice called. Everyone looked up from their meals.

One binome who had been assigned to the task of "watching for any civil disobediences, strange occurances, or chain saw toting guys that say 'groovy'" (all of which he was very proud of being the guardian for, so much in fact that if anyone were to ask him what he was doing he would have given a staged dramatization of his current responsibilities), ran up the stairs to the mess hall. It was dusk, and everyone was still in shock from the occurances of that one cycle, but they were beginning to lighten up, and the mess hall possessed a small quantity of noise. But all were silenced again when this binome ran in, huffing and puffing and looking like he was hyperventilating. 

"He's up! He's up! I have seen him, and he is definitely up!" he panted out.

Everyone just stared, totally clueless as to what he was talking about.

"Oh, come on people, is anyone awake in here? Geez, he's up, dudes! Get with the program!" he shouted.

The Captain stood up from his place. "What in the web are you talking about, lad? And why aren't you at your post?" he said.

"Well, two- thirds of what I was supposed to look for is happening, and I don't think that the chain saw guy is coming any time soon, so I really don't need to be there anymore! Now, come on, do you think I would honestly abandon such a noble profession as guarding the souls below deck, with which you have so nobly entrusted me to guard and protect with my very life and soul..." he yelled.

The captain interrupted him. "Alright, alright, we get the picture. But tell me, what is happening?" he said. Then he added, speaking softer, "Has the woman finally left us?"

"No, but I was going to mention that too. She's not going to last the night, I can tell you that much. But what I came here to inform you of is the man. He's up, and he looks like he is in some sort of evil trance. He's very pale, and his eyes are almost closed, and he walks like he's a character in Myst! You know, the linear version, where you can only walk in straight lines? It's so weird looking!"

The Captain quickly walked past the binome, looking out in the hall, and sure enough, he saw Matrix almost immediately. Sure enough, he was walking completely straight, looking like death and drifting across the space in front of him like a ghost, but not raising his eyes to look at anything. The Captain was about to call out to him and find out what he was doing, but he felt something inside of him that told him to remain quiet, so he did. And everyone stood up, everyone watched Matrix as he silently walked past the mess hall, went down the stairs to the lowest deck, and disappeared into the shadows. Everyone knew where he was going.

The Captain turned around again to look at everyone behind him. He locked eyes with Ray, who looked like he was ready to run out of the room and follow Matrix, no matter where he went, but the Captain delivered his message to him with his eyes. Ray immediately understood, looked down at the ground, and slowly drifted back in to his seat. Then, the Captain delivered his message to everyone else.

"No one follow."

************

The door creaked open, then creaked closed as he entered the room. Even though it was almost pitch black, he could see her, plain as day, continuing to fight for her life. He knew that if he had seen her like this only a short while ago, he would not have been able to control himself. He would have either broken down in a crying mess, or he would have burst out of that room and taken his rage out on yet another being smaller than he. But not now; now he simply looked at her not with tears in his eyes, and not with fear either, but simply with remorse and sorrow. 

He walked over to the side of her platform and sat down beside her. He wanted to say everything all at once, but he could not figure out where to begin. What do you say to your dying love?

His motions, after sitting down, were robotic. He reached out his hand and slowly touched hers, and he was not yet at the point where she was so far gone that she no longer was tangible, but she felt softer than she had ever felt to him before. Her skin almost felt like that of a baby's; so fragile, but so beautiful and gentle to the touch. The simple feeling of her against him stunned him, and he forgot everything that he had been thinking about before. He forgot about all of the things that he had been wanting to say to her, and now his mind was simply focused on the feeling of her, the presence of her in the room. It was a joy to feel; a joy he, like all other joys in his life, had forgotten. 

"Hi Andi." he whispered as he raised his eyes to her face. She didn't move at all, not even a twitch of an eyelid. But in his mind, he saw her smile at him.

"I don't know why I feel this way, but somehow I know that you can hear me. And I know that you can't move to let me know if you can hear me, so I'll just trust how I feel right now." he nodded his head slightly, as if he had said that last thing to reassure himself of its logic and truth instead of reassuring her. 

"There are so many things I have to say." he spoke in a detached tone, slowly. "I don't know where to begin, and I don't know if I can fit everything into the little bit of time that I have. But don't try to hold on until I'm finished, okay? Just, whenever it gets too hard for you, I want to you leave. I don't want you to feel pain because of me."

************

What do you say to your dying love?

I, I guess the first thing I have to say is that I'm sorry for everything. I'm, I'm sorry for becoming who I am, I'm sorry for making you go through your life the way you have, I'm, sorry for not being there for you when I should have been. There are so many things I should apologize for, and there are so many things that I wish I could erase and remake in a way that doesn't bring any pain on you. I, never wanted anything like this for you. I never thought..."

What is this silence your love puts over you?

I'm not proud of anything. I'm not proud of the man I've become, I'm not proud of where we've ended up, I'm not proud of anything I've ever done in my life. I feel this, this shame inside, that makes me look at the world as if is covered in death wherever I go.

I have these dreams, where I walk around on this little plot of grass, and everywhere that I step the growth slowly starts to die. I've been having them for so long, and I've never told them to anyone, but they have made me lose so much sleep at night, and they've made me so tired...

Are you tired?

Are you tired? Are you still here because of me? Are you, holding out for something? I don't understand why you've fought for so long, because I look in the mirror and can't imaging why you would want to save yourself. I am nothing to come back to.

Or are you fighting for something else? It's crossed my mind that you've sometimes wanted to disappear, to leave everything that is familiar, and just go find an entirely different world for yourself. I understand that. I haven't had any luck looking for any kind of life in the unknown, but you are so much more than I am. So are so much stronger, and you know how to keep yourself alive...

I am not alive.

I don't know how to stay alive. I know how to keep myself going, keep my heart beating, keep my lungs breathing, but I don't know how to stay alive. I'm, inside, nothing. There's this hole in me, it makes me feel like I am a walking skeleton, rotting in front of everyone's eyes. I feel disgusting, and then I look at you, and see what you are, and it just makes me even more ashamed of everything that I am. Ashamed of keeping you with me, forcing you to live this way.

Do you know, I had so many nights like this one when I was young. I can remember these times when I sat up in my room and hugged my legs to me and just stared at everything in front of my eyes. There was nothing, and then there was everything. I saw all the world's colors at once, and I felt the warmth and the frigidity and the blindness and the emotions that everyone experiences throughout their lives. And I know why I saw it all, but I think that I was ashamed to admit it to anyone, even to myself. 

I used to be such a dreamer. I used to dream about so many things, in so many different places. When I was little, I used to want to be everything. I would dream about growing up, and traveling, and fighting with all kinds of beings, except that I never used to dream about hurting them. And I dreamt of nights where the wind would be warm, and the sky was clear, and I was surrounded by all the people I had ever met, and we would play games as if it were some holiday that was more important than any other day. I dreamt of the excitement of capture the flag and ghosts in the graveyard and tag and water balloon fights where the balloons never ran out, and I used to see everyone's eyes in front of mine, smiling at me. They would chase me and I would chase them, and we would enter this totally different world where nothing mattered, and there was only us and the darkness. 

And then we would go eat, and sit around a huge table, and talk about things of no importance, and we would laugh all the time. I would sit down under a huge tree, and it would rain and it would snow and the sun would shine and the stars would reach out and grab my hand. I would fall backwards onto the grass, and I would run in the rain, and I would be completely soaked with water from the clouds and from the balloons and I would get into wrestling matches with everyone. And everyone would feel strong. But no one would be hurt.

And then, we would go home. I would enter my dark house, holding my mother's hand on one side and holding my father's hand on the other side, and feeling Dot's arms around my neck. And we would all be exhausted, but we would still stay up, making hot drinks and sitting in the dimly lit room in the middle of the house, wrapping blankets around ourselves and the others. We would fall asleep together.

Why do you tell me this?

I don't know why I'm telling you all of this. It makes me feel so strange to say it, because I've been making myself forget about all of it for the majority of my life. I never wanted to feel weak, I never wanted anyone else to think that I was some little toy of my emotions. I ridiculed people who spoke like this, it's kind of funny. 

Smile. It is funny. Smile.

I want you to know that I probably won't outlive you by very much. But right now, and for the rest of my time, I'm not going to be what I was. I'm not going to forget about all of this. I've forgotten so many things, and my carelessness with these memories is what makes me dangerous. I guess that's another thing I have to apologize for; I treated you just like I treated all of my memories. I've never really valued anything, and I've never really stopped to think about what it might feel like when something was gone. But now, it seems like everything is gone. But, I don't feel sorry for myself. I don't deserve it.

I'm crying. I've never cried before, not until now. It feels good. It feels so wet and odd on my hands, but it just feels good. I think that I've missed this feeling.

I've said too much. I'm sorry, here I am, pouring out my heart and soul to you when you either can't hear me or just don't care. I've been bothering you like this your whole life, haven't you?

Sometimes, I just don't know what to say to anyone. I've never felt like I can talk to anyone, even though I know that there are people out there who would be willing to listen. There's just these walls around me, and they make my whole life look like that room I was describing to you before. And in the room there are more things, like the memories of things that I have been thinking about for so long. Like that story my sister once told me, or that little girl on the playground that I almost killed once. I only remembered them recently, but it's like they are these moments in my life that now seem to define who I am. It's so stupid, living in the past and dwelling on things that happened so long ago, when I was a completely different person.

You're a completely different person too. You know, I look at you, and I can only imagine what is going on inside your head. I can't talk to you or even see you, but you've been there all along, and you've been all alone. It makes me feel so awful, seeing you, having to spend your whole life alone with me, and here I am, I can't even make it through one day alone. I feel like I've never been alone before, and now that I am...I don't know.

You don't know...what do you say to your dying love?

How much I cry...I can't control it. I've never felt like this before...I'm so lonely, I want you to come back so much. But at the same time, I want you to go...I want you to be free of everything that has happened to us, I don't want you to suffer any more. I care about you so much, I only wish that I hadn't been so afraid of everything up until this point. 

I hate this, I hate seeing you this way! And I hate feeling this way, with this anger that I can barely control and this enormous awareness of how horrible I am! I hate this so much...why wasn't it me?

Why wasn't it you?

Why wasn't it me?

I don't know why it wasn't you...

It should be me, I deserve all of this, you don't deserve anything!

You don't deserve this.

God, I hate everything in my world, and I hate everything that I've become, and everything that I've ever been!

Don't...that's the anger talking. You don't know what anything means...

I hate this world, I hate everything in it! I hate seeing you like this...you're still here...why don't you just end your pain? Why are you putting yourself through all of this? I don't want to see you suffer!

But I'm not suffering. I'm with you.

I want to be here for you...

You are.

But I just can't do anything for you! I was so stupid, I should have been there, I should have protected you, I should have forced my way in front of you, I shouldn't have let all of my stupidity control me. 

You are here, and you deserve no blame.

I want you to be happy! I wanted you to be happy, for the whole time! But I never could make you happy, I always made you suffer, and I always messed things up!

No you didn't...you were wonderful...

I fucking love you, alright! I fucking don't care about anything else in the God-damned world except for you! And here you are, you're dying in front of my eyes, and there's nothing I can do for you! There's nothing I can say, and I just want to die with you! 

No, you can't die with me...you have so much life left in you.

And here I am, instead of doing anything I'm just crying and carrying on and being such a disgusting thing, but I can't do anything, I can't say anything...

There is so much you can say to your dying love. But none of it will ever leave your mind.

Just don't fight! If it hurts, don't make it hurt anymore! 

It doesn't hurt. I'm tired, but having you here makes everything better. 

Just live or die! Or tell me, send me some kind of message, telling me how I can touch you one last time...

I'll feel you with me forever, you don't need to touch me in order to make me feel.

I just, I don't know what I can do, what can I do in the world? What does the world need from failures like me? I have nothing left to give, and no one to give it to, and no one to talk to, and no one who will listen, and no one who will even scold me for being so self-piteous. There's just no one in my life anymore...what kind of life is that? Nothing left to give, and no one to give it to...

You have everything to give, and everyone to receive it.

************

Ray had waited forever, as it seemed to him. He couldn't wait anymore. It was now extremely late at night, and it had felt like seconds since Matrix had emerged and dissappeared. He had stood up three times, and he had made it to the door once, always with the idea in his head that he would go and see what was happening. He had a horrible fear in his heart that kept telling him that both of them are gone, and will never come back. But each time, he felt the Captain's eyes on him, and he turned around and sat down just as quietly as he had stood up. He was exhausted, both in body and in mind, but as everyone else around him slept, he remained as wide awake as a young child on a warm afternoon.

He looked around at all of the faces around him. They were all sleeping together, in order to get protection from whoever and whatever might emerge. Everyone around him looked like they were having the first good dream after a long line of horrible ones. It was a good night, warm and sticky and humid, but still nice. Ray thought to himself about what much be going on at every point in the world, where some people slept and some people enjoyed their lives underneath a black sky and yet others had troubles on their mind. Everything happened all at once, and his mind wandered, manufacturing ideas of what kinds of things other people thought about. 

It drove him insane. The frustration, the discontent with the way that his life had turned, the recent thoughts about other people's problems and worries. And he kept thinking about AndrAIa...he could honestly say that he had never known anyone who died before. He had never known his family, for he had been alone for the longest time. But he wasn't lonely, in fact, he thought that he had loved the life where there were no attachments. He kept telling himself that he who has more in his life is the one who has more to worry about, and more to tie him down. Plus, this kind of thing...a death of someone in his life...he knew that he had been fearing something like this his whole life. He really didn't think that all the pain of loss was worth all the joy in receiving someone else.

He stood up very rapidly when his mind immediately turned to Matrix. He had only known the man for a little amount of time, but as much as he hated him, he felt a kinship with him. Matrix was completely the opposite of him, but Ray found it interesting to look at the things Matrix went through and ask himself if he was jealous. He wasn't jealous of Matrix's pain, or all of the losses that Ray really knew very little about, but he was jealous of the things that he had gotten a glimpse of that were good in Matrix's life. He had seen AndrAIa and Matrix together when they had thought that no one was looking, and they had been one of the closest couples, no, friends, that he had ever seen. Ray had no friends, and as much as he loved his freedom, whenever he looked at two people who really cared about each other, he couldn't help but want everything that they had.

He walked quietly, being sure not to disturb anyone around him. The Captain was actually still awake, and he could hear Ray's heart beating as he moved, but he didn't feel the need to stop him anymore. Matrix and AndrAIa could probably use a check-up, even though he felt the exact same way that Ray did: that neither one of them was really with them anymore. Ray opened the door, walked through it, and closed it, not making a sound, and the Captain finally went to sleep almost immediately after Ray was gone.

Ray tiptoed down the hall, then walked slowly down the stairs, and he could see nothing in front of him. There were no lights on, it was simply pitch black everywhere. He was worried that he would run in to something and make a lot of noise, but he actually never had any problems. He reached the door to the chamber, paused for a moment, then reached out his hand and pushed it open, agonizingly slowly. And while it moved, he silently prayed that the two were still there, that there was still a flicker of hope left.

Sure enough, he saw them. AndrAIa was dimmer than ever, so dim that she wouldn't be seen by anyone who wasn't looking specifically for her. As the door opened wider, Ray could also make out the sharp sillouette of Matrix, head bent down, hands folded in front of him, just sitting there. It was actually surprising to Ray; he was awake, and fully conscious, and wasn't upset at all. Could he have accepted reality, and now he was giving up on AndrAIa, and saying prayers for her? Was he saying his final words to the one he loved?

Matrix didn't look up when Ray walked in to the room, but he was aware of his presence. He didn't move at all, except for a slight little blink of his eyes, breaking a long stare that he had been holding for quite some time. Ray didn't see this blink, but as his eyes caught a hold of the other figure that was in the room, he could almost see everything that Matrix was thinking.

Across from AndrAIa, right next to the chair in which Matrix was sitting, there was a large box-shaped machine, with tubes stretching all over the room. The tubes wound around like enormous snakes, slithering around and looking silently for something to squeeze the life out of. One of them had actually come to rest in Matrix's arm, which Ray discovered by following it's shape throughout the room. His eyes were adjusting better, and now he could make out faint lines and colors. And when Matrix finally did turn to look at him, he could see every shade of color in his eyes.

The two men stared at each other, never saying anything. Ray didn't know what to say, and Matrix simply didn't have anything to say. He had poured his heart out to AndrAIa, and now, as it seemed, he was literally pouring his life out to her, by using this machine to some how give her his energy and his very life force.

They never did say anything, they just stared at each other for the rest of the night, and in the morning, the crew came down and made their peace with Matrix. They too found that they did not need words to communicate with Matrix anymore, for they now possessed the courage to look in to his eyes, and see exactly what he was feeling. His eyes said everything that anyone would ever need to say to anyone.

And in that room, everyone finally understood what their companions were about. They could finally tell themselves, with the knowledge that they weren't lying to themselves, that he was strong or that he was courageous, or that she had an incredibly ability to hang on to life longer than anyone else in the world possibly could. They didn't know what was going to happen, for it was no longer clear. Plus, they had thought that they could tell the future simply by looking at someone's face, but that had proved itself to be inaccurate. Matrix's eyes were still frightening, but they possessed a little flicker of light that confused everyone. What was that flicker? What did it mean? What was going on inside that restless heart of his?

Was he still alone? Did he still feel like he deserved not to die, but to live, and therefore not be given the pleasant solice and peace of death? Did he simply want to die? Did he still fear the world, and look at it as if it were simply a collection of evil people who do not know how to love? Or was he discovering that he had become exactly what he truly hated: people who care for nothing? And did he ever find the way to discover how to say, "I love you, and I will never give up on you" to his dying love? Does he now, after one night of solitude and hatred and emotional despair, possess the wisdom that would allow him, and indeed would allow **you**, to say what you feel to your dying love?

You'll know someday.

************

that's all she wrote, folks! Please please please review and tell me what you thought of the story, this is the final chapter in this series. I think everyone knows where the story goes from here, at least from a factual point of view. Bye bye kiddies!


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